Finding Joy in Networking As An Introvert
You read the title correctly.
Joy. Networking. Introvert.
Yes, these words are used in the same statement. And yes, I realize the irony in that statement.
I am an introvert. I recharge my energy by being alone. I have a preference for one-on-one conversations or interacting in small groups versus large social gatherings. Ideas and thoughts run through a deep analysis and editing process in my head before I feel it’s ready to be shared publicly. I’m guilty of zoning out and getting lost in my own thoughts. Deep focus and high-quality work is very important to me.
I am also an introvert who went through the uncomfortable process of learning how to develop more extroverted behaviors. My professional success was dependent on that change process and I cared a lot about succeeding. So I changed. I started out my career being extremely quiet and awkward in most social situations. Now I can carry a conversation with just about anyone and manage to surprise people when I disclose that I’m actually an introvert.
Despite of all that growth mindset and development, I never warmed up to networking and putting myself “out there”. Honestly, I loathed it. For a few different reasons.
As an introvert the concept of networking brings up these awful images of walking around an enormous convention center while wearing an ugly name tag, introducing myself to people I don’t know and engaging in a series of superficial conversations as a way to make new connections. No thanks.
Culturally, as an Asian American, the idea of networking for a new opportunity goes against the way I was raised. Obstacles and challenges are something you work through alone and your work should speak for itself. The work will create opportunities. The rewards will come. Putting yourself out in the universe as a thought leader goes against the accepted behavior of not drawing too much attention to yourself. It demonstrates a lack of humbleness.
I made a mistake.
Did you know that at least 70% of all jobs are not even listed (Business Insider) and 70% of all jobs are found through networking (U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics and Yale University)? I know this to be true because the few times when I did network for a new job, it helped me land a job at 2 out of the 5 companies I worked at.
I may have been able to get away with not doing much of it as a corporate citizen. But, as a business owner and new entrepreneur, networking is a lifeline. It’s a lead generation strategy. A business development tool. A path to growing brand awareness. A way to connect with your target customers. To conduct market research. To become a thought leader.
Because I care about succeeding, I decided to change. The pivot was fast. The results appeared just as quickly.
Surprisingly, I actually began to enjoy networking. And because I enjoyed it, I became better at it.
Here are the lessons I learned about networking as an introvert and why I found myself enjoying the process.
Find Your Tribe
While living in Seattle, I joined a HR/People Ops/Talent community called the Seattle HR Collective. It’s led by two amazing women entrepreneurs who created a comfortable and safe space for all professionals in the field. A space to learn from thought leaders and make meaningful connections.
I seldom missed their meetings because I enjoyed them so much. I became friends with the two women who led the community and many of the members. Those relationships created a path to invaluable advice, exposure and opportunities for me when I was preparing for and made a career change into entrepreneurship.
I’m happy to have found many new tribes such as GC4W, Power to Fly, Tech Ladies, TCB, WE NYC, Lean In, and many others that allowed me to grow my network in an intentional way.
Seek 1:1 Interactions
Lunchclub was a blessing for me, and so many others, in 2020. The platform deploys an algorithm to match its users who share a common goal or interest. All meetings are virtual and are scheduled for 45 minutes each.
This type of format works well for introverts in multiple ways. First, the meetings are 1:1 and allow enough time for you to get deep enough into a dialogue about a topic but it doesn’t drag on for too long where you’re left trying to find other things to fill the extra time. The matches are confirmed on your calendar in advance, allowing time for preparation. They also provide details of the match’s profile so can do your research and identify topics to discuss on the call.
I set aside time on my calendar to accept 2 or 3 matches a week and I met many fun and interesting people on this platform. Many of them I still remain connected with and some have evolved into virtual friendships.
Warm Introductions
The added bonus by growing your network through a tribe or seeking 1:1 interactions is that you’re also growing your 2nd level connections on LinkedIn.
Warm introductions are made by someone you know who is directly connected with someone you’re looking to meet. Asking the person you know to make an introduction on your behalf increases the chances of that 2nd level connection to say yes to a meeting with you.
I make sure to have a short bio and purpose for connecting prepared in advance so I can send it to my contacts. This makes it easier for them to copy and paste it into their email or LinkedIn message for a quick intro.
Add Value
People appreciate it when you think of them by sharing a valuable resource that either helps them solve a problem, pertains to their field of work or helps them learn something new.
Whenever I come across an article, event or tool that could be valuable to people I know, I share it with someone I know. It’s usually well received because it shows that I was thinking about them and I’m sharing something that brings value to their life in some way. This is a great way to maintain relationships with people you don’t speak with or work with on a regular basis.
I’m constantly keeping up with industry news, events and ideas because of my own curiosity and desire to stay current. Why not pay it forward and share the knowledge?
Turn Networking Into A Habit
I finished reading “Atomic Habits” by James Clear a couple of weeks back. It changed my view on how I approach reaching my goals entirely. The core message in his book is that when we fail to achieve our goals, we think that we set the wrong goals. Whereas the reality is that our systems or habits are the problem.
The timing of the book forced me to examine how I got here. The point where I actually began enjoying networking. What I realized, in retrospect, is that I managed to create and maintain a series of systems for networking to work. Those systems and habits helped me reach my goals and enjoy the process. The systems also reinforced a routine, which helped me become a better networker.
The introvert in me still craves quiet time to recharge and I have not changed how I feel about networking events. However, I learned to genuinely embrace networking by redefining it as time spent connecting with people I enjoy spending time with. The path of least resistance is doing it in a way that plays to my introverted preferences and making a habit out of it.
Having difficulty getting started or making progress? Learn more about how you can develop good networking habits and make genuine connections by through the Pelora Stack Connect program.
